What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself. But someone may well say, "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works." You believe that God is one. You do well; the demons also believe, and shudder. But are you willing to recognize, you foolish fellow, that faith without works is useless?
~ James 2:14-20
My heart has been dipped in the love of God. God is speaking to me, urging me, working on me. For the past several weeks, my husband and I have been attending a class in James at our church congregation. As I look back throughout my life, I've always had concerns for those in need, things so much bigger than me. As I consider the creation of my God and Savior, my being becomes so much smaller and I feel so insignificant.
Something is screaming at me, but there is a problem. I'm not sure if I'm hearing the right words. I struggle, I'm confused. The Psalms are comforting to me. But, God, I am screaming for your direction, Father, I need you to listen to me and answer me.
God created everything that is on this Earth. Every tiny ant, every beautiful bird, every majestic flower, every human being. All humans have a heart, we all have good and bad inside of us. There is a fight going on. There has been from the beginning of time, but it feels so strong to me right now. It hurts. God has placed us all where we are, when He needed us to be there. His works have been so evident to me over the last several years and now I can't help but wonder, "God, what are you trying to tell me now? What do you want me to do? I feel your hands pulling me, but where? What is it?"
Yesterday, a young woman came into my life unexpectedly. For some reason, my urge is very stong with her. But there are several warnings that have come to me as well. My questions are so many. We are called to have faith with works. In the end we will be held accountable for what we did and didn't do. What if my calling right now is so much bigger than I can realize and what if this is such a big step in faith? People give me warnings to be safe and careful for our family, I know that. Last night, I was taken back to a time when I possibly met her before. I'm concerned about my family being taken advantage of. But are we to give everything we have to the cause of Christ? I feel this with everything I am. She's so young and on her own. I'm worried for her.
How can we know when God is telling us to do something but all of our faithful friends and family could be saying something entirely different? Is this a step of faith that God needs of me right now in my life? I'm scared to death that one day I will hear the voice of God calling me to do something and not realize it, I'll listen to those who have good thoughts and intentions, but it could be the wrong thing. I'm scared to death of not following, whole-heartedly, God's urging in my life.
What is God saying to me?