The Jonah Act

Have you ever been driving down a road and off in the distance the road looks wet but you get there and it's dry as a bone?  Or maybe you've been on a long trip and you come upon hill after hill and then comes the giant hill.  You wonder in excitement what could be just over that next hill.  It could be in anticipation of seeing the ocean for the first time, or a city of lights after a long day of traveling to visit family.  Whatever it is, you just aren't sure, but you are certain it's just over that next hill.
But maybe that wasn't the right hill and the road just keeps going and going.

Life is like that sometimes!  A grand adventure we take with all kinds of twists and turns, hills and valleys, deserts, and spectacular views.  In each of our lives, we live a theme.  God has a purpose for each of us and does amazing things throughout our lives that we don't even realize are happening.  I'd like to share a bit of the theme woven through the tapestry of my life, and give a glimpse into what I have looked back at and seen God preparing my family for.


Children have played an important part of my life.  I "played house" and "pretended school" as a young girl, wrote a poem in middle school about taking care of children, talked about having "a hundred" kids, and wanted to have a career centered around children.  In college, my major was Child Development, though that didn't last long when Freud entered the studies.  I cannot recall exactly what turned me off, but I decided that a secular career with children was not necessarily what I wanted.  Right now, though, I wish someone had encouraged me to stay the course.  Anyway, that is all beside the point.  I am thankful for the wide journey I ended up taking instead!  When I stepped away from my college education to raise my son, I had switched my major to Religious Education.  My thought was to ultimately work in children's ministry or go into curriculum development.  I worked for a Boys and Girl's Club, in daycare, and have taught quite a few children's bible classes, and a few individual homeschool classes in different settings.  Essentially, throughout my adulthood, I have found ways to keep kids the center of my life mission.  My kids, of course are always at the heart of my mission and purpose in everything I choose to do.

For many years now, another aspect pertaining to children has tugged on my heartstrings.

That poem from all those years ago?  Something concerned me about children in troubled places.  I had no education or experience related to child abuse or children in foster care or adopted kids, in fact, I'm not sure if I even knew anyone in those circumstances.  But for some reason, endangered children were on my heart and I wanted to do something about it.  As years marched on and my life took different twists and turns, that poem faded into the background and my life went in different directions.

College came.

Married life began.

and then

Family life began.

We were so young!  21 when my first son was born.  We had so much to learn.  Being a parent was hard and knowing exactly what to expect from my son, what his milestones were supposed to be, and how to be a mom were not easy lessons for me.

We had two more children in the following 6 years.  Being mom had become my thing.  Children were my life!  I was living my dream.

And then, my sister and her husband became adoptive parents.  And they fostered children.  Their mission in life, from my view point, was amazing.  They were inspiring.  My sister taught me so much about being a better mom.

We began encountering families within our church congregations who had adopted, others had fostered.  The number of my friends who were foster/adopt families increased year by year.

I said once, "Oh, I could never do that."  Various excuses and even fears for why my family could not dip our toes "into that kind of life" escaped my mouth.

But their stories tugged on my heart.  I still feared about the kind of difficulties we might face, if I was strong enough to do "that."  But a dear friend showed me a way I could be supportive and encourage different children in foster situations.  We supported my sister in the best ways we knew how.  And I prayed for foster/adoptive families.

Meanwhile, the tugging on my heart was growing in weight.  It became a deep urge.  For about five years, I felt on my heart that God was telling me something.  I put it off, saying no, I am not in the right place, I have made so many mistakes as a mom.  I am not good enough.  I don't have the patience.  I don't have the training.  I worried about my emotional stability.  I worried about my ability to be perfect for a traumatized child.

Did you see all of that?  I, I, I, I, I, I, I!!!  I was making it all about me.

For years, God was trying to show me who he wanted me to be, what he created me for.  He had placed a desire on my heart as a young person to care for children in hard places.  He groomed me by placing the right people in my life to show me the way, to help him direct my path, and to say that it doesn't take perfection.

So, I took some baby steps.  For a couple of years, we took an opportunity to be Santa for a child living in a group home.  I began sitting at the feet of my sister and soaking up every bit of knowledge she would share from her training.  I read blogs about the foster and adoptive life.  Listening to my friends and watching their families showed me what a beautiful life it is. 

More and more, I heard the adoption word. Different situations. I heard it everywhere.  Even if the main message was not directly about adoption, I came away with a lesson in my mind pointing toward an adoption purpose.  I saw images of hurting children everywhere I turned.  "Sponsor these children."  "Pray for these children."  Sermons spoke adoption to me.  Bible classes.  Commercials on the radio (I listen to Christian faith radio stations only.) brought thoughts of adoption.  Even songs were speaking adoption into my heart!

Though, I kept saying, "But I can't do this!"

Post after post scrolled across my screen, foster family there, adoptive family here, a child who needed a family, invitations to help, pleas for people to get involved.  The cries for help were deafening. 

He was telling me that I wouldn't be the one to do this.   HE was going to accomplish his purpose.  God was calling out to me, he provided it all.  The resources to train me were front and center.  The support team was already encircling me.  God said, "Sendy, I don't need YOU to do this.  I am going to work through you because you can follow me!  I already hold you up everyday.  Remember?  Never give up because I am always here! I will never leave you, nor forsake you!  I adopted you!"

I needed to stop acting as Jonah did.

Wow. I was scared.  I still was unsure.  Never really having a conversation with my husband, it was difficult to know how he would respond.

It began with an invitation to an intimate informational gathering at a friend's home.  I told Jeff I was curious, just to listen this time.  We attended, it was primarily about foster care.  A start. Something to open up the floor for discussions here and there.  I could tell we needed a little more time to allow the idea of caring for another child to grow in his mind.  Meanwhile, the messages for me continued and were stronger every month.  One day, I found that I was included in a closed group for foster/adoptive families on Facebook.  How that happened or who added me is unclear, I never found out.  I watched story after story of families in their experiences.  My heart was softening, I felt a desire flickering.

One beautiful Saturday afternoon, Jeff and I went to the local Christian bookstore to look around.  He had a few things in mind that he was looking for.  I went and knew I could find something, book lover that I am. Ha.  Within minutes I found the book I knew that had to come home with us.  "Adopted for Life."  I took it to Jeff and asked what he thought.   I think this is when he realized I was getting pretty serious about this whole thing.  He was not ever opposed to the idea, but I think it just didn't occur to him how much this had been in my heart and in front of me for years. 

We made the purchase.  I began reading... and sharing with Jeff.  Well, that book needs its own post. Hehe

Then one day, a picture of a beautiful young girl stopped my scrolling.  I read about her.  She needed a home.  I knew she was one of thousands of children in need of a home. But here was a face to the need.  My heart ached.  For the first time, I heard myself think, "I could be her mom!"

I could be her mom.   Whoa.  Wait a second.  It was a yes.  I was finally saying yes to what God was calling me to.  It was a strange feeling, but complete peace and confidence flowed through every ounce of me.  We had to do this! 

I responded to the link, sending a message that I was interested.  What did we need to do next? 

Hold your horses, Sendy! 

Oh yeah, there was an orientation to attend.  There were classes to attend.  There was a home study to complete.

And there was family to talk to. 

I showed her picture to Jeff, and told him the date of the next orientation meeting.  We took the kids.  I was excited!  Jeff seemed excited!  And so we talked to each of the kids.   That's where we needed to slow down.  Our kids needed some time to process the idea. We were talking about shaking up their world! Two of them were completely on board from the get go.  The third need a little bit more time to wrap their head around the thought. 

That's okay!  It wasn't overnight that we came to this decision!

It didn't happen over night.  For years, God was working in me, where I was.  He did the preparation.  It was not time 20 years ago.  Time does not exist for Him.  And when I think back over all this time, it really has been a vapor.  Now is good.  Now we are ready.

As we walked toward the building for our initial interview with an adoption specialist, my nerves were firing and butterflies were fluttering.  The words flowed out of my mouth to Jeff's ears: "I feel as though we are driving a road up a hill.  That kind of hill on which you are not exactly sure what could be on the other side.  Way back, the vapor in the air looked like an ocean.  Or it could be a cliff stopping our tracks in place.  Or it could just be a continuing of the road... a long road that never stops.  We are either going to come away stopped by a cliff, traveling down a never ending road, or sailing into the great unknown- skydiving with God in tandem, jumping into the grandest adventure yet.  I'm nervous, Hun, but so very excited."